I’m going to share something about “me,” but I’m doing it for you.
I’m making this about me because I want to pick on someone a little bit. I’d rather pick on me than on you. I like you. You look nice today. I hope you like this post.
I Have a Better Self
Sometimes I feel like there are two versions of my self. There’s the version I am today, and there’s also a better version.
I don’t know the better version quite as well. He’s not around all the time. He pops up once in a while, does the right thing, makes me proud, and then he’s gone again. Sometimes I’ll see him later that same day. Other times, he disappears for longer.
Maybe you have a better self, too?
I’ll tell you a little bit about mine.
My better self gets up early. He’s an amazing husband. He doesn’t work late. He is generous and selfless.
He goes for a run instead of making an excuse. He really listens to people. He has better habits than I do. He’s less reactive than I am.
He writes every day, because he wants to be a better writer. He’s determined.
My better self is brave enough to do the right thing, instead of the easy thing.
He makes better choices than I do. That’s why he’s better than I am. He chooses to be better. Consciously.
I look up to him. I want to be more like him.
Can We Become Our Better Self?
This is the big question, right?
I believe we can become our better self. At least, we can become more like our better self. Not perfect, but better than today.
In a way, that’s what the Monthly Experiments Project is all about.
It’s about choosing one little piece of your better self and trying it on. Just like you’d try on a pair of jeans.
I have a pair of jeans that fit me better than all the others. When I saw them in the store, I didn’t know they’d fit like this. I had to try them on first.
You can do the same thing with your life. Try something out for a month, see how it fits, and maybe that thing becomes a part of who you are. Maybe you take one step closer to being your better self.
When you’re trying something new, it doesn’t matter if the jeans don’t fit. It’s only an experiment. You can always try something else.
Experimentation is a useful tool, but it’s not the key to becoming your better self. There’s something more important you need first.
Mindfulness Is The Key
The path to something better always starts with where you’re at right now.
To become your better self, you must truly know your current self.
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A friend would say we have to get small to be big.
That’s what mindfulness can do. It helps you become more aware of the way things are right now.
Mindfulness is the key that unlocks your potential to become what you want to become.
It seems like a simple thing, but there is amazing power in seeing things as they truly are. It seems like we’d always see things as they are, but do we?
Sometimes it’s hard to see the place you’re at right now. It can be disappointing to think about where we are today, instead of where we want to be. Practicing mindfulness helps us be less judgmental about the way things are. Being less judgmental helps us move forward. It gives us permission.
To stop being a workaholic, I had to admit I was a workaholic. Admitting that made me feel like crap, but it was essential to the change I made. That change has been a lasting change, and it all started with an awareness of the way things were.
This awareness will work for you too. I promise that it will.
Before you can start, you have to say, “This is where I am. This is where I’m going. I’m not at the end yet, but I’ll get there.”
You have to embrace the idea that you’re going somewhere, making progress toward something, and you’re not there yet. That’s ok. You’ll get there faster if you do it this way. It takes practice.
How To Practice Mindfulness
If you want to learn more about mindfulness, I encourage you to join our Practicing Mindfulness Experiment in December.
My friend Kristen Runvik is co-hosting the experiment with me, and she wrote a fantastic post about the How & Why of Mindfulness. I encourage you to read it.
There are many ways you can practice mindfulness with us.
- You can do a daily mediation.
- You can practice gratitude.
- You can stop complaining for a whole month.
- You can join our experiment.
Kristen and I will be posting more about mindfulness in December. You can subscribe below to get free email updates.
I hope you’ll join us and get to know your better self.
View all posts in this series
- Clean your Teeth, Clean Your Mind - November 19, 2012
- Getting To Know Your Better Self - November 29, 2012
- Don’t Waste Your Excitement on the Future - December 4, 2012
Lisa Jacobs says
I love where this is going! Enjoyed and shared 🙂
John Muldoon says
Thanks Lisa! If you decide to join us for the Mindful December experiment, let me know how it goes. 🙂
linda esposito says
John–I see myself in your better self…
The beauty of mindfulness is that it’s ever-evolving. So we have a less than compassionate response, or we react instead of respond…there’s always another moment to make it right.
Thank you so much for starting this. Props to Kristen, too!
John Muldoon says
Thanks Linda! Totally agree. 🙂